It’s rainy season in Lagos, Nigeria. The rain should be a welcome development, especially after a period of heat, but it’s not to most. People are counting their losses instead of their blessings. People are revelling in their woes rather than their victories. Lots of residential areas are severely flooded, especially in places that were riverine prior to being sand-filled. Lots of property has been severely damaged and others outrightly destroyed by the water. Some people have even died. Add these sad events to the history of a people who have forgotten what joy feels like; people who have seen so much pain, corruption and evil until they have become as robots, not feeling, not caring, with a completely mechanical and nonchalant attitude to life; and what do we have??? 

Machines! Machines programmed to hate, to take down others because they fear that others will take them down first, people who have no love to give because they do not know or understand how love can exist, angry people! 
They are walking, talking, eating and doing everything else that normal people do, but they are like puppets dancing to the tune of a puppeteer. They dance when their strings are pulled, in whatever direction in which they are pulled. Chaff, blown by the wind. 

I was a puppet and a robot once. I didn’t know what love meant nor did I care. I was so angry. So angry with everything and everyone around me. I was also angry with God and with myself. I could burn down the house in a fit of anger or hurt someone really badly. I’d apologize later, but the damaged things wouldn’t get whole just because I said sorry. The anger drained all the positivity and optimism out of me and replaced it with several fiery negative emotions including fear, doubt and self-loathing and I felt constantly like I had to be all up in arms against everyone. Hurt people hurt people, I had been so hurt by the people and circumstances in my life and lashing out at anything and everything became my coping mechanism. But how long does a person have to cope with the bad when there is so much good to be had? How long do you have to pick at old scabs and reopen them when healing is staring you in the face? In lashing out at others, we hurt ourselves. In hating ourselves, we mock the One who gave us life. It’s like saying to the manufacturer of a product: you idiot! You know nothing about the product you manufactured. As long as I stayed angry, I lost out on the beauty of life. Such bondage! 

Photo Credit: google

How did I stop being so angry???? I told God to take all the anger I felt and replace it with love and forgiveness. I constantly confessed 1 Corinthians 13 (the love chapter). If I felt like I was getting angry again, I’d remind myself that I had forgiven and let all sad past events go. I didn’t forget, honestly, I couldn’t forget; there are some things in life that cannot be forgotten. I just took all those memories and I turned them into a superpower. I will love more, I won’t give up on people and I’ll always be a conduit of light and grace for others because I know what it is to feel unloved, unwanted; I know what it is to constantly exist in darkness and pain. 

Photo Credit: Micheal Coggan 

Anger is a cage that must be destroyed, so that you can fulfil purpose, so that you can be everything you were made to be and more. 

Always remember that when our strength fails us, when we’ve come to the end of our tether; God is enough. 

You already know that I absolutely love you. 

Do follow me on instagram @idonthidemyscars 

Don’t forget to like, comment and share. 

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