The adventures of 2 broke Lagos Babes

So my friend had a couple of meetings today and I decided to tag along(a.k.a follow follow) because I couldn’t bear to stay home alone on a fine Saturday like this. I dressed up real nice, sprayed more perfume than I usually would, brushed out my Brazilian hair(my friend dashed me), I took my time to do makeup and look presentable, you know, just in case I meet Mr Right on the road today(just kidding). I think it’s always good to look your best even if your wallet is almost empty like mine. 
Wahala no 1 started when I took a bus going to Ojuelegba and there was this long scary-looking line of trailers that blocked the road and caused horrible traffic. After staying at one spot, neither moving forwards nor backwards for a while, the driver na decided to start driving through bumpy roads. I clung to the seat in front of me for dear life, else, I’m fairly certain I’d have been thrown out of the bus. By the time I got off that bus, I felt pains in several places I cannot mention. 

Wahala no 2 was when my friend started calling the first person she was supposed to meet with and the person ignored all her calls. Am I the only one that finds it really annoying when people do not stick to time? Why do people give appointments they have no intentions of keeping? We were still trying to figure out what to do when this woman entered the bus. The kind of smell that entered with her, I had to open the windows and put my nose out so that I could breathe. It wasn’t even funny at all. 

Wahala no 3 was when we entered tortoise and thought it was BRT we entered. I didn’t even know whether to be amused or to just come down and start trekking from Marina to Lekki because we had already bought tickets and couldn’t return them. In fact, tortoise is faster than that BRT. On top of that, the driver was an agbero (hood boy). He and one baba now decided to engage in a screaming match that almost blinded my ears. That’s how confused I was. Last last sha, a journey that should have taken 20 minutes took us almost 2 hours. We finally alighted from the BRT. 

Wahala no 4 was when We started trekking because we were looking for a particular number on the street and none of the buildings were numbered. Frustration was an understatement. See eh…  We trekked under the sun in all our finery. We did not see the place. We were na calling the person, he dinnor pick. When our legs couldn’t walk like they used to before, we na saw one eatery and entered and sat down. We cannot go and come and kill ourselves away. 

Wahala no 5 was when one bottled water cost 150 naira. Why? Why will ordinary water be 150 naira? Is it because I was dressed like a big geh? My friend was just laughing as I was ranting. Last last, we sha composed ourselves and ordered fanta and meatpies with money that we were managing, I just hope we still have enough money to enter danfo back home. 

Wahala no 6 was when the guy finally picked up his phone and we started dabbing our faces with hankies in an attempt to wipe off the frustration-induced sweat. I brought out my hairbrush to make my hair presentable and my friend decided to do the same. I said I’d help her with it. Brethren and sisthren, as I lifted the brush and started combing through, THE WIG CAME OFF. People na started passing and saying “sorry oh”. My friend is a G and she was really cool, but I wanted to enter the ground on her behalf. I sha put the wig back for her and we walked away without looking back. 

Last last sha, we have seen the guy and he’s not bad. It’s a business meeting oh, don’t get any ideas! Talk to you all later. 
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Ok. Bye. 


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