I had my first abortion before I even knew how to properly spell abortion. It wasn’t even a proper clinic, it was a shop. I still remember every tiny detail.
I didn’t know what it meant to be pregnant. I was at the naive point in my life where I still thought that babies fell from heaven. He was the one who discovered it, the relative who ruined my childhood. Apparently, Oga Chemist was his close friend and apparently, I wasn’t the first girl he would be taking there.
It was a dinghy dimly lit room, it smelt like a rat had died somewhere. At one corner, there was a pile of unwashed plates, a stove and a few dirty pots and pans. At another corner was a stethoscope boldly displayed on the wall alongside a framed edition of the Hippocratic oath. His bed/patients bed was set on the floor just a few feet below these. It was the only bed in the room and it was obvious that he slept on that same bed because I could see his clothes carelessly strewn on it.
He asked me to take of my clothes and go lay down on the bed, I wanted to refuse, but I took one look at my relative and I just obeyed Oga Chemist. He asked me to open my legs, I didn’t want to, my relative held my legs open by force and Oga Chemist put something inside me. The pain was unearthly. I didn’t recognise my own voice when I screamed. He kept prodding me with the sharp thing. I didn’t even notice the blood.
I must have slept off or passed out sometime during the procedure, I’m not sure which. When I woke up, they gave me paracetamol to swallow.
My relative kept me in that room for about 3 days and he fed me only 3 times, once each day. And he was always giving me paracetamol. Everybody thought that we travelled together.
When I was strong enough to go home, he told me several bad things that would happen if I breathed a word to anyone. I believed him. He was a dangerous man.
I was damaged and broken and nobody even noticed at home. I still had to be the big sister for my siblings. I protected them with everything I was. Most importantly, I protected them from knowing that their father was actually a demon.