The world is full of hurting, broken people. Some of these people cloak their pain with anger and they lash out at everyone else; others begin to battle depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide. Everywhere you look, you see broken marriages, broken children, broken women and men. Unfortunately, the world will continue to be filled with broken people as long as we keep sweeping things under the carpet, suppressing the pain, telling ourselves that everything is fine. Until we find the courage to confront our painful, perhaps dark pasts, we cannot truly move forward.
A time came when I had to sit myself down and ask myself serious questions. I had been suppressing my pain and I’d suppress it for a really long time until something made me explode and all the grief would come out. I had to write down a few questions which I answered honestly.
“Are you hurting? ”
“Who hurt you? ”
“Did you do anything to deserve what they did to you? ”
“What are you afraid of?”
“what’s the worst that can happen if you stop cloaking your true feelings? ”
By the time I was done answering these questions, I realized that it wasn’t my fault that some things happened to me, I couldn’t have done anything humanly possible to prevent it or change it. That moment was so freeing for me.
I had been afraid that if I let my past go, I’d have nothing left to hold on to, I didn’t even realize that I had that fear sef.
I decided that I’d create new beautiful memories for myself to replace all the horrible, negative ones that I was scarred with. I asked myself what I’d have wished people would do for me and I began to do it for other people.
Nobody listened to me – I listen to others.
Nobody gave to me – I give to others.
Nobody loved me – I love others
They gave up on me – I don’t give up on others.
I wish they paid my school fees- I pay for others.
In healing other people, I have found healing myself.
This is how I moved on, how I became this 22 year old that you all would love to identify with. If you had met me some time ago, you wouldn’t have liked me at all, but I moved on and thousands of people are better for it.